Three elflings
by M0R0N
Summary: Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas meet for the first time in Lothlorien NO SLASH
1. The meeting of the cousins

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter (which is an OC even though she doesn't appear in here) so he and Elrond are brother-in-laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas plan revenge, sweet revenge Set in the 3rd Age  
  
The trumpets blared as the Lord of Imladris and the King of Greenwood arrived in the Golden Wood.  
  
The Lord and Lady of Lorien greeted at the gates of Caras Galadhon.  
  
"Always a pleasure to see you again Lord," Elrond and Thranduil both said to Celeborn. The only  
  
reason they both said the same thing at the same time was because Celeborn had sent them a letter telling  
  
them what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. It was Elrond's idea for Thranduil and himself to meet  
  
and practice it. Celeborn did so to please Galadriel, who thought that Elrond and Thranduil were idiots.  
  
"Likewise friends," said Celeborn. Crap, he thought, they were supposed to say Lord AND Lady.  
  
Continuing, he said "Guards will lead both you and your sons to your chambers." Gliding past them, he  
  
hissed at his son-in-laws, "Next time make sure you rehearse better." Galadriel sweatdropped, she had heard  
  
and figured it out.  
  
Elladan and Elrohir followed Elrond, who followed one of the guards. Legolas followed Thranduil,  
  
who followed another guard. When they arrived to their chambers, Elladan and Elrohir were told that they  
  
smelled like filth and to take a bath. Thranduil told Legolas to never trust Elrond's plans. Legolas, confused,  
  
cocked his head to the side. Thranduil could just picture millions of question marks coming out of his son's  
  
head.  
  
Later, on that evening, the twins were wrestling in the forest when they saw a figure coming towards  
  
them. Elrohir, scared, jumped into his bothers arms. When he figured that it the figure was no taller than  
  
him he quickly jumped down.  
  
"Are you sure that you can handle seeing the terrifying shape of an elfling?" Elladan teased. Blushing,  
  
Elrohir said nothing. As the figure get closer, the twins each hid behind a bush. When Elladan whistled, they  
  
would pounce onto the elfling. The figure got closer and closer until...  
  
TWEET!!!!! All that Legolas remembered was two elves, both slightly taller and stronger than him, jumped  
  
out of nowhere and pounced on him.  
  
"Let...*gasp...me...*gasp...up..."Legolas managed to get out.  
  
"It's just the kid with Thranduil, Elladan. Do we let go?" asked Elrohir.  
  
"Yeah. OK." Legolas was finally able to get up. Elladan asked him for his name.  
  
"Legolas. Yours?"  
  
"Elladan"  
  
"Elrohir" A few seconds went by, minutes, half an hour, hour...Still no one said anything.  
  
"ELLADAN? ELROHIR?"  
  
"LEGOLAS?" The three elflings jumped up. They had forgotten to go back. All three started to run  
  
to the voices. Legolas tripped and fell into Elrohir, who fell into Elladan. As they tried to untangle  
  
themselves, they suddenly saw an Elven Lord and King. Both looked angry, very angry.  
  
"Why did you two not come back when you were supposed to?" asked Elrond.  
  
"Uhhhhhhhhhh..." Elladan tried to explain. Elrond grabbed Elladan and Elrohir's ears and dragged  
  
them back. Thranduil did the same to Legolas.  
  
Should I continue? 


	2. Rude awakenings

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter (which is an OC even though she doesn't appear in here) so he and Elrond are brother-in-laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas plan revenge, sweet revenge Set in the 3rd Age  
  
The next morning, Elladan woke up before Elrohir. He was about to just prod him on the shoulder, but decided that that would be a little boring. He got out  
  
of bed, got dressed, and anything else that had to be done. Elrohir was still asleep when Elladan rigged up the trap. As soon as he was done, he stood at a safe  
  
distance and said "Elrohir, get up." Elrohir didn't move. "Elrohir, you lazy bum, get up" No movement. "Elrohir, you'll got food if you wake up." With lightning  
  
speed, Elrohir got up. As soon as he reached for his clothes, his hand touched something sticky. Elrohir opened his eyes. Elladan had surrounded the bed with  
  
honey. Crap, Elrohir thought, never wake up after Elladan again. As he tried to get out of bed without getting honey all over him, Elladan sat and watched him while  
  
eating popcorn. Elrohir finally got out and, covered in honey, walked towards Elladan. Elladan ran out of the room and looked inside. He had expected Elrohir to  
  
chase him but instead, Elrohir was eating honey out of the bucket. "You were right Elladan, I did get food." Elladan anime-style fell over.  
  
In another chamber, Legolas woke up. He didn't want to get up but he did. As he walked to find his clothes, he noticed that the Sun was already directly  
  
above Lorien. It was already noon! Thranduil had told him to meet him at 10:00. Legolas panicked and ran to find his father. He didn't know it but he was only  
  
wearing one boot and boxers. His hair was semi-combed. Guards were a bit amused at the sight of Legolas running like that. He turned a corner and crashed into  
  
Elrond. Elrond, unamused, told Legolas to go back and get dressed. Only then did Legolas figure out what he was wearing and, more importantly, what he was not  
  
wearing. Blushing, Legolas turned to go back.  
  
Thranduil was looking for Legolas when he noticed the twins. Elladan was sitting in a tree, Elrohir was looking for the sap of a tree. He asked them if they  
  
knew where Legolas was.  
  
"No, but our dad might. He told us Legolas crashed into him while wearing nothing but one boot and his boxers." Thranduil thanked his newphew and went  
  
to look for Legolas. He was not mad, rather humored. Legolas could forget the most important things. With a sigh, he decided to look for Elrond instead. 


	3. Call one eight hundred Piss Off Galadrie...

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's 'cept Celebwen  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter (which is an OC even though she doesn't appear in here) so he and Elrond are brother-in-laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. Set in the 3rd Age  
  
Later that day...  
  
"LEGOLAS PAY ATTENTION!!!!" Galadriel was explaining to Legolas why it was a bad idea to put a snake in her bed. Legolas had  
  
"accidentally" dozed off. He thought, Hey, two hours of lecturing is enough. I gotta torture someone else now. Galadriel, knew what Legolas was  
  
thinking and get pissed. She was about to explode when Celeborn walked in.  
  
"Galadriel, you have to see this! Celebrian and Celebwen are beating the crap out of Elrond and Thranduil in a really strange card game!  
  
Hey! Those last four words rhymed!" Celeborn was practically yelling. He ran out to watch the rest of the game.  
  
"Hey! Wait for for me!" Galadriel rushed out, leaving Legolas alone in her and Celeborn's bedroom. Legolas decided to make up an evil  
  
scheme... heh heh heh  
  
Elsewhere, Celebrian put down two Kings. Then, it was Celebwen's turn. She put down two King to back up her older sister's pair of  
  
kings. That's not fair, thought Thranduil, I'M king. Then, Elrond made his move. He put down two pairs of fours and ended. Celebrian and  
  
Celebwen were trying with all their strength not to laugh. Celebrian failed, and her sister did not fair much better. Thranduil drew a card and  
  
mentally laughed. He put down all four aces. Celebrian and Celebwen's laughter stopped. Both drew one card each. Celebrian and Celebwen each  
  
put down two jokers. They had won, again. Celeborn and Galadriel tried to contain their laughter but couldn't.  
  
"Again?" asked Celebwen.  
  
"How 'bout not..." Thranduil answered. "You've won the past thirty- eight games."  
  
"Thirty-nine is the charm," Elrond said.  
  
"THAT'S WAS YOU'VE BEEN SAYING SINCE YOU LOST THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!" Celebrian was laughing at Elrond's philosophy.  
  
Ten feet away were Elladan and Elrohir. They rigged up another trap for Galadriel.  
  
"I'm going back to check on Legolas," Galadriel suddenly said. With that, she walked out and right into the twins trap. As soon as she  
  
stepped on a rock, a giant tarantula came swinging down a her. She didn't know it, but it was just a stuffed animal. Running like her life depended  
  
on it, she got back to the room Legolas was in. Celeborn, Celebrian, Celebwen, Elrond, and Thranduil filled the air with laughter.  
  
"Say...that looks almost like the twin's stuffed tarantula doesn't it Celebrian?" Elrond asked.  
  
"You're right, dear. Hmmm..."  
  
Galadriel walked into her room when a bucket of tomatoes fell on her.  
  
"Legolas..."  
  
  
  
  
  
I know that Elladan and Elrohir don't have much to do with Legolas right now but they will in the next chapter.  
  
btw, I know I said that Celeborn's other daughter won't appear in this fic. I lied. 


	4. Rehearsal gone with the acorns

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's 'cept Celebwen  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter (which is an OC even though she doesn't appear in here) so he and Elrond are brother-in-laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. I forgot to mention the actual ages. Set in the 3rd Age ( I know the twins weren't born until the 3rd age and I don't Legolas was born until the third age either, but w/e) Ages( I'm making these up) Celeborn: 7549 Galadriel: 7531 Celebrian: 5594 Celebwen:4094 Elrond: 5595 Thranduil: 4095 Elladan and Elrohir: 47 Legolas: 34 In here, Elves mature at 2000  
  
Elladan and Elrohir sat on their beds. They were not to leave the room for a day, including for food. It wasn't fair, Elrohir thought, the tarantula wasn't even  
  
real. Elladan was thinking of a way to escape. The door and all three windows were shut and locked. He would have to think of a way to unlock them. Unlocking  
  
the windows wouldn't help. The twins were not wood-elves so they couldn't climb the trees. Then, he noticed his and Elrohir's swords. They were not sharp but  
  
if they hit them on the door hard enough, it might make a hole. Elladan told Elrohir about the plan and they started whacking the door with all their strength. After  
  
an hour of whack-the-door, there was not only a huge hole, but the door itself had been torn off by Elladan's final blow. There was no one in the hall. Seizing the  
  
opportunity, the twins bolted out of the door, down the hall, and on the way to some not-so-well-deserved freedom. They ran into Legolas outside, who just  
  
escaped from his room as well. He had broken a window and climbed down a tree.  
  
"Hey Legolas," The twins greeted in unison. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Looking for someone to test my trap on"  
  
"New trap huh?"  
  
"Yalp. Wanna help?"  
  
"Yea. Sure" With that, they got to work.  
  
Celeborn was walking with his son-in-laws through the forest. Elrond and Thranduil screwed up another line and he was walking with them as they  
  
rehearsed, to make sure they would not screw up another.  
  
"Hail the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood. May your strength last...." Elrond and Thranduil said together.  
  
"Strength AND will," Celeborn was getting impatient. "Again"  
  
"Hail the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood. May your strength and will last forever through the Ages. Through thunderstorm and through..." Thranduil trailed off.  
  
"Um...I forgot" He said weakly. Celeborn was pissed. He grabbed Thranduil's ear and hissed, "Through thunderstorm and through fair weather." Elrond  
  
was glad. He didn't know the line after that and since Thranduil forgot a line before him, Celeborn was mad at him.  
  
"Again"  
  
"Hail the Lord and Lady of the Golden Wood. May your strength and will last forever through the Ages. Through thunderstorm and through fair weather.  
  
The power of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel will..." This time Celeborn grabbed Elrond's ear and hissed, "*prevail *against *all *others." Elrond and Thranduil  
  
tried again, failed again. Celeborn grabbed one of both of their ears and pulled them like that through the forest. When suddenly a pile of acorns landed on all three  
  
of them. Thranduil and Elrond heard faint laughter, but Celeborn was too pissed.  
  
"Legolas..."  
  
"Elladan...Elrohir..."  
  
  
  
Tell me whether the three of them should piss off Haldir and his brothers as well. 


	5. Of an unconscious Lord and Lady

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's 'cept Celebwen  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter so he and Elrond are brother-in- laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. I forgot to mention the actual ages. Set in the 2nd Age ( I know the twins weren't born until the 3rd age and I don't Legolas was born until the third age either, but w/e) Ages( I'm making these up) Celeborn: 7549 Galadriel: 7531 Celebrian: 5594 Celebwen:4094 Elrond: 5595 Thranduil: 4095 Elladan and Elrohir: 47 Legolas: 34 Haldir: 54 Orophin: 42 Rumil: 37 In here, Elves mature at 2000  
  
Haldir watched as Orophin chased Rumil in the trees. Rumil had thrown Orophin's training bow into the river Nimrodel on accident. He tripped on it and,  
  
not knowing what it was, threw it in.  
  
"Orophin, it was an accident! I swear!" Rumil tried to persuade Orophin to stop chasing him. If he was caught, he would soon end up in one of the  
  
healing chambers. Orophin was not convinced. That only made him more angry.  
  
"Didn't you notice the bowstring? It's kind of hard to miss, isn't it?"  
  
"No, actually it was very easy to miss." Orophin's face turned red with anger. He caught Rumil by the collar and dragged him to the ground.  
  
"Let go." Orophin started to um...how should I say this...um...hurt Rumil. Haldir let him because he knew that Orophin wouldn't hurt him too much and  
  
besides, Rumil did the same thing to his wooden sword. He was just sorry he didn't have any popcorn. Rumil broke loose and ran.  
  
"Come back here!"  
  
"No. You're scarier than Galadriel," Just then, Galadriel walked by. Rumil mentally swore. Orophin mentally laughed. Haldir mentally wished for  
  
popcorn. Galadriel went mental.  
  
"WHAT!?" Orophin decided to move to a safe distance, like behind Haldir. Rumil stood still for a few moments and then...suddenly...ran. Galadriel  
  
screamed a really-scary-evil-witch-mode scream.  
  
On the other side of Lorien, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas were all running from Celeborn, Elrond, and Thranuil. They made the mistake of running past the  
  
door that the twins destroyed. Celeborn fainted at the sight of it. Elrond and Thranduil turned their attention to their father-in-law, who was unconsciously lying on  
  
the ground.  
  
"Thranduil, stay with him while I get help."  
  
"Why do I have to stay with him?"  
  
"Because I told you to."  
  
"Why do I have to listen to you?"  
  
"Because I am older."  
  
"Not by much."  
  
"1500 years"  
  
"That's not a lot..." Too late. Elrond was gone. Thranduil silently cursed in Elvish. Curses that Celeborn would have torn off his ears, if he had heard.  
  
Meanwhile, Celebrian and Celebwen found Galadriel lying unconsciously on the ground of the forest.  
  
"Celebwen, stay with her while I get help."  
  
"Why do I have to stay with her?"  
  
"Because I told you to."  
  
"Why do I have to listen to you?"  
  
"Because I am older."  
  
"Not by much."  
  
"1500 years."  
  
"That's not a lot..." Too late. Celebrian was gone.  
  
Tell me whether I should give Legolas an older sister/brother to torture. 


	6. Cruel and unusal punisment

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's 'cept Celebwen  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter so he and Elrond are brother-in- laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. I forgot to mention the actual ages. Set in the 3rd Age ( I know the twins weren't born until the 3rd age and I don't Legolas was born until the third age either, but w/e) Ages( I'm making these up) Celeborn: 7549 Galadriel: 7531 Celebrian: 5594 Celebwen:4094 Elrond: 5595 Thranduil: 4095 Elladan and Elrohir: 47 Legolas: 34 Haldir: 54 Orophin: 42 Rumil: 37 Glorfindel: 6595 In here, Elves mature at 2000  
  
"ELLADAN, ELROHIR, YOU WILL FIX THIS DOOR OR YOU WON'T EAT FOR TEN DAYS!!!!!" Elrond was really pissed.  
  
"LEGOLAS, EVEN THOUGH YOU DID NOT DAMAGE THIS DOOR, YOU WILL HELP JUST BECAUSE I'M MAD!!!!!!" Thranduil couldn't think of  
  
anything better than that. Everyone who heard it sweatdropped, except for Elrond. He anime-style fell over. As Legolas and the twins got to work, the healers  
  
were trying to wake up Celeborn and Galadriel. Elrond and Thranduil stayed far away from Celeborn while Celebrian and Celebwen stayed far away from Galadriel.  
  
All four were praying they wouldn't wake up until they left.  
  
Legolas accidentally (REALLY accidentally) puonded Elladan's hand with a hammer.  
  
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" Elrohir wasn't there, he had gone to get wood for  
  
a new door but, he sure heard Elladan scream. Elladan now had Legolas in a lock-hold.  
  
"*What *was *that *for?" Legolas couldn't answer since Elladan had his hand over his mouth. When he didn't, Elladan punched him. Legolas broke free  
  
and fought back. Pretty soon, there was a big fight going on in the hall. Luckily, Elrohir returned and stopped them before they could get into more trouble.  
  
"Why were you boys fighting?" Elrohir imitated Celebrian with a high voice. Elladan and Legolas forgot they were supposed to be fighting and started  
  
laughing. They got done with the door half an hour late...  
  
"NO FOOD FOR TEN DAYS!!!!!!!" Elrond yelled. Thranduil was a little more sympathetic, or as Elrond called it, pathetic.  
  
"Why don't we think of something else?"  
  
"OK..fine..." Elrond and Thranduil whispered together for a few minutes. Finally Elrond stated,  
  
"You guys can have food but...you will have to take...(room darkens and scary music starts playing)...music lessons...."  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
HHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The next day,  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir, I don't care what instrument you play, just play something." Elrond said, irritated.  
  
"Fine." The twins said in unison.  
  
"Legolas, I don't care what instrument you play, just play something."  
  
"Fine." Legolas ended up choosing a trumpet, Elladan chose to play an alto sax, and Elrohir chose to play a french horn. Their teacher ended up being  
  
Glorfindel (anyone surprised that he's in here?) Elrond had told him that if he didn't, Erestor would make his life a nightmare. When Glorfindel said that Elladan,  
  
Elrohir, and Legolas weren't much better, Elrond threatened to show everyone a picture of Glorfindel in his boxers when he was a kid. Glorfindel gave in.  
  
"Elrohir and Legolas, for the last time, stop having a valve oil fight."  
  
"We were not fighting, merely squirting valve oil on eaching other...on accident." Legolas said in his most royal voice. The twins started laughing like hyenas  
  
(OK, maybe not THAT bad)  
  
"All right... try the Concert Eb scale again." It was a horrible sound, complete with squeaking and blatting. "I give up. That's it for today." The three elflings  
  
threw down their instruments and ran outside.  
  
"I dread tomorrow..." 


	7. A dark terror

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's 'cept Celebwen and Lauregalen  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter so he and Elrond are brother-in- laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. I forgot to mention the actual ages. Set in the 3rd Age ( I know the twins weren't born until the 3rd age and I don't Legolas was born until the third age either, but w/e) Ages( I'm making these up) Celeborn: 7549 Galadriel: 7531 Celebrian: 5594 Celebwen:4094 Elrond: 5595 Thranduil: 4095 Elladan and Elrohir: 47 Legolas: 34 Haldir: 54 Orophin: 42 Rumil: 37 Glorfindel: 6595 Erestor: 6924 Lauregalen:536 In here, Elves mature at 2000  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir, it's time to practice archery," Elrond informed.  
  
"But we don't want to..." Elladan groaned.  
  
"Or else it's more music lessons for..." The twins grabbed their bows and arrows and ran out. "Heh heh" Elrond chuckled. Legolas  
  
was already at the field, shooting and hitting the center of the target every time.  
  
"Hey Legolas, your dad make you practice too?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"How long?"  
  
"Until noon" The twins gawked at him. They had to practice until three in the afternoon. "I HAVE been here longer than you guys have."  
  
The practice was long and boring. Elladan managed to hit the center once. Elrohir managed to hit Elrond, who was watching with Thranduil.  
  
Thranduil would have laughed if he hadn't been so scared of Elrond at that moment. Elrond had tripped over one of Thranduil's swords and  
  
blamed it on Thranduil for not putting it "back where it belonged." He had been saying that Thranduil never put things back since they were  
  
elflings.  
  
*Flashback  
  
Thranduil was 52 years old and was practicing with his sword. He hit a tree and a branch snapped off. Being a wood-elf, Thranduil freaked  
  
out. He took the branch to the river to see if he can plant it so that it would grow into another tree. Too bad for Elrond he forgot about his  
  
sword. Elrond was walking with a young Celebrian when he tripped on it. Celebrian laughed and walked off. Mumbling, Elrond noticed a  
  
single word carved on the sword: Thranduil.  
  
*End Flashback.  
  
"THE CROWN PRINCE GREENWOOD HAS ARRIVED!!!!!!!!" Thranduil was confused. Why would his first son, Lauregalen, come to  
  
Lorien?  
  
"Legolas," Thranduil called, "Come with me." Legolas dropped his bow and quiver to follow Thranduil.  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir, let's go with them." Elrond said as he departed. *THUD Elladan tripped over Legolas's bow and Elrohir tripped over his  
  
quiver. Elrond sweatdropped. Thranduil called back,  
  
"Runs in the family doesn't it Half-elf?" Elrond immediately started to chase Thranduil, who was not as fast as Elrond, stronger, but not  
  
faster. In a few seconds, Elrond had Thranduil in a lock-hold. The twins and Legolas walked on, ignoring them. After five minutes of  
  
punching, kicking, and younger-brother-in-law-torture, the Lord and the King finally decided it was time to greet Lauregalen.  
  
When they arrived, they looked like scarecrows. Their robes were torn, their hair was messy, and Thranduil was missing a boot.  
  
Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas did not look much better. Their tunics were torn, (like there fathers) their hair was messy, (like their fathers)  
  
and Legolas was missing a boot (like his father). They must have gotten into a fight with each other, thought Elrond. Celeborn and Galadriel,  
  
who had recently woken up, fainted again and were rushed to the healing chamber. Celebrian and Celebwen's jaws dropped about a mile at  
  
the sight of them. They were about to tell them to change but it was too late. They saw a white horse and a rider coming their way.  
  
Lauregalen didn't look too good either. Like Thranduil and Legolas, his tunic was torn, his hair was messy, and he was missing a boot.  
  
As he approached, he said to Thranduil,  
  
"Father, a terror has fallen upon Greenwood."  
  
"What has happened?'  
  
"We're out of wine..." Everyone except for Thranduil and Legolas anime- style fell over. 


	8. Why?

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's 'cept Celebwen and Lauregalen  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter so he and Elrond are brother-in- laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. I forgot to mention the actual ages. Set in the 3rd Age ( I know the twins weren't born until the 3rd age and I don't Legolas was born until the third age either, but w/e) Ages( I'm making these up) Celeborn: 7549 Galadriel: 7531 Celebrian: 5594 Celebwen:4094 Elrond: 5595 Thranduil: 4095 Elladan and Elrohir: 47 Legolas: 34 Haldir: 54 Orophin: 42 Rumil: 37 Glorfindel: 6595 Erestor: 6924 Lauregalen:536 In here, Elves mature at 2000  
  
This chapter is going to focus on Elrond and Thranduil as kids, hopefully explaining some of their thoughts and actions, maybe even some of Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas's. 2nd Age Elrond: 1552 Thranduil: 52 Glorfindel: 2552 Erestor: 2893 Gil-Galad: I don't wanna figure out his age. Do it yourself.  
  
"Stop being such a baby Thranduil," Elrond sighed.  
  
"I'm not a baby," Thranduil was the equivalent of a 4-year-old human. Elrond was about 15 or 16. They were going to put honey in Glorfindel and Erestor  
  
beds. Thranduil wasn't too sure about it, being afraid of them. Then again, he was afraid of Elrond too. To be honest, the only elf he wasn't afraid of was  
  
his father, Oropher ( I got sick of all those fics about Oropher being abusive). Oropher had sent him to Lindon, just because he felt like it.  
  
"Come on," Elrond was getting impatient. Why was he friends with this elf anyways? They went on and ran into Gil-Galad.  
  
"What are you two doing up at this time of the night? With a bucket of honey I might add," he asked. Thranduil used puppy-dog eyes and said,  
  
"I got hungry and Elrond was nice enough to get some honey for me," Oh yeah, Elrond thought, that's why.  
  
"Oh all-right. Go on then," Gil-galad walked off. Elrond and Thranduil continued on. They approached Glorfindel's room, who had come of age 552 years  
  
earlier. Thranduil didn't remember, since he wasn't born yet. They opened the door as quietly as they could spread honey all over a sleeping Glorfindel.  
  
Then they did the same thing to Erestor in his room.  
  
The next morning, two particular honey-covered elves were looking for two particular elflings.  
  
"Glorfindel, maybe we should wash first."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"We don't want to torture those two elflings covered in honey."  
  
"Guess you're right...again"  
  
"Of course I'm right. I'm always right."  
  
"..."  
  
In Thranduil's room, Thranduil had just woken up. He was supposed to meet up with Elrond at 10:00. He looked out the window. The Sun was already  
  
above Lindon! It was noon! Thranduil forgot about everything at that moment and ran out. He was only wearing one boot and boxers (sound familiar?).  
  
As soon as Elrond saw him, he started laughing. Thranduil, confused, looked down at himself. To his horror, he realized what he had on. HE HAD BEEN  
  
RUNNING AROUND LINDON IN HIS BOXERS ( he lost the boot)!!!  
  
"Hey Thranduil, I need to show you something I found." Elrond said, trying to control his laughter. He took something out of his pocket. IT WAS A  
  
PICTURE OF GLORFINDEL IN HIS BOXERS AS A KID!!!  
  
"This should make for some interesting black-mailing shouldn't it, Thranduil?" Elrond asked. "All right, go and put some clothes on will ya? Or else I'll get a  
  
painter to paint you in your boxers too." Thranduil rushed back to his room.  
  
Back to Elladan, Elrohir and Legolas's time...  
  
"We must take drastic measures. Lauregalen, go and use this to buy as fine wine as you can." Thranduil said, handing his elder son a bag of gold that seemed  
  
to have come out of nowhere. "Legolas, go with him." Lauregalen mentally swore.  
  
"Come on kid, let's go." Legolas did as he was told. Royan, Lauregalen's horse, was too big for Legolas to mount on his own. So Lauregalen dismounted,  
  
picked up Legolas, mounted him on Royan, mounted himself, and rode off.  
  
"Lauregalen, can I get some candy too?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I said so."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because we need the money to buy wine."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because father will die without wine."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because he likes wine."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because wine is better than candy."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because that's how they're made."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because that's what the Valar ordered."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because they felt like it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I give up. Take this gold coin and buy yourself some candy. Do not tell dad."  
  
"I won't." With that, Legolas ungracefully dismounted and ran off to buy candy, leaving his elder brother to buy wine with his...horse. 


	9. Of chocolate and Exaltation

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's 'cept Celebwen and Lauregalen  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter so he and Elrond are brother-in- laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. I forgot to mention the actual ages. Set in the 3rd Age ( I know the twins weren't born until the 3rd age and I don't Legolas was born until the third age either, but w/e) Ages( I'm making these up) Celeborn: 7549 Galadriel: 7531 Celebrian: 5594 Celebwen:4094 Elrond: 5595 Thranduil: 4095 Elladan and Elrohir: 47 Legolas: 34 Haldir: 54 Orophin: 42 Rumil: 37 Glorfindel: 6595 Erestor: 6924 Lauregalen:536 In here, Elves mature at 2000  
  
"Legolas, you could at least wait until we stop to eat your candy," Lauregalen sighed. His torn tunic now had chocolate stains on it. Legolas  
  
isn't someone you wanted riding with you.  
  
"No I can't,"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"No"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"No"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"No"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"No"  
  
"Fine, whatever."  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir, pay attention," Glorfindel shouted.  
  
"But how come Legolas doesn't have be here?" Elrohir asked.  
  
"Because he is getting wine with his brother."  
  
"But Legolas said that Lauregalen was 536 years old. You have to be at 2000 to drink wine."  
  
"Not in Greenwood you don't." Glorfindel was ticked. "Try playing the chromatic scale again" The twins tried playing it awkwardly.  
  
Glorfindel decided that it was time Erestor helped.  
  
"You two stay here until I come back...wait I don't trust you," Glorfindel got some rope and tied the twins to their chairs. With that, he  
  
went to find Elrond.  
  
"Elrond, don't you think it is time Erestor helped with the music lessons?"  
  
"I suppose you're right," Elrond said. Erestor turned white with dread.  
  
"But..."  
  
"But nothing. You will help." Glorfindel smiled and said,  
  
"Come on, best friend Erestor, it's this way." He left dragging Erestor with him, leaving Elrond alone with Thranduil.  
  
Glorfindel was surprised that the twins hadn't been able to break loose. As he untied them, he noticed bite marks on Elladan's rope.  
  
"Hey Erestor! How ya doing?" Greeted the twins in unison.  
  
"Bad, thanks to Glorfindel." Glorfindel looked so proud, someone would have thought he slew another Balrog.  
  
"OK, lets get started," Erestor said, "Try playing Exaltation starting at measure 12. Wait no, that won't work. There's an important trumpet  
  
part there and Legolas isn't here. Try starting at measure 48, the alto sax solo and french horn counterpart."  
  
Glrofindel's jaw dropped as the twins playing the perfect notes, with the perfect rhythm, with the perfect sound. When they Erestor cut  
  
them off at measure 98, (trumpet solo), he said to Glorfindel.  
  
"I seriously don't know why you needed my help Glor." At that, Legolas came in through the door, his torn tunic having chocolate on it.  
  
"Legolas, why do you have chocolate on your tunic?" Glorfindel asked.  
  
"Lauregalen gave me a gold coin and I bought chocolate, and then I ate chocolate." Elladan and Elrohir hoped that Legolas saved some for  
  
them.  
  
"OK...Legolas, get your trumpet, we'll wait." Legolas opened, his case, taking out a silver trumpet (Thranduil got it, remember in The Hobbit  
  
where it said the Elvenking loved silver and white gems?).  
  
"Glor, you go ahead and do it this time," Erestor told Glorfindel.  
  
"Start at measure 118 of Exaltation" There was a horrible sound that could be heard all over Lorien. Erestor sweatdropped. Taking up his  
  
conductor's stick thingy, and said,  
  
"OK...lets try that again." All three played it perfectly. Glorfindel was thinking they were doing that on purpose, and they were.  
  
"How come you three can play it whenever Erestor is up on the podium but not me?" Glorfindel asked, trying to keep calm.  
  
"Erestor is not as ugly to look at," answered Legolas, but, no duh, it was a lie. Glorfindel had always looked better than Erestor, Legolas just  
  
couldn't think of anything else. Elrohir stepped on Legolas's foot.  
  
"He means that Erestor waving his hands is not as um...violent-looking and yours, Glorfindel," Elladan tried to cover Legolas's mistake. Too  
  
late.  
  
"YOU THREE BRATS WON'T SEE YOUR HANDS IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE WHEN I'M DONE WITH  
  
YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Btw, Exaltation is a real song, written by James Swearigen. 


	10. Escape

Disclaimer: Not mine. Tolkien's 'cept Celebwen and Lauregalen  
  
No one knows Legolas's age, so it may be AU, maybe not. In this fic, Thranduil married Celeborn's other daughter so he and Elrond are brother-in- laws. Elrond is about 1500 years older than Thranduil. I forgot to mention the actual ages. Set in the 3rd Age ( I know the twins weren't born until the 3rd age and I don't Legolas was born until the third age either, but w/e) Ages( I'm making these up) Celeborn: 7549 Galadriel: 7531 Celebrian: 5594 Celebwen:4094 Elrond: 5595 Thranduil: 4095 Elladan and Elrohir: 47 Legolas: 34 Haldir: 54 Orophin: 42 Rumil: 37 Glorfindel: 6595 Erestor: 6924 Lauregalen:536 In here, Elves mature at 2000  
  
"Legolas, hurry up." Elladan said to , no duh, Legolas. Elrohir slowed down for him. They had another trick to play on their  
  
grandparents. Elrond and Thranduil were going to depart for Imladris (yes together, no not slash). This was going to be the last  
  
chance to play a joke on Celeborn and Galadriel for a long time. Too bad they ran into their fathers.  
  
"What are you three doing up at this time of the night?" asked a suspicious Elrond.  
  
"We...were...um...going to hang a snake outside grandfather and grandmother's door," Legolas answered. The twins went  
  
berserk. How could Legolas tell the truth. They were going to be sent back to bed for sure. But the brother-in-laws said  
  
something quite unexpected.  
  
"We were heading up to their room as well boys." Elrond said as if this was normal for them (actually, it was normal for the,.  
  
Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas just didn't know it).  
  
"We're going to put up two buckets of tree sap on their door. So when they walk through it...heh heh," Thranduil added.  
  
Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas stood starting at them with widened eyes. As soon as they were out of their state of shock, the  
  
five headed to...(scary music starts playing) Celeborn and Galadriel's bedroom. They finished the trap x2 and packed  
  
their things for their leave. Guards were sent to wake up Celebrian, Celebwen, Glorfindel, Erestor, and Lauregalen.  
  
"Celebrian, we must leave now, or a dark terror will befall on us all." Elrond said in his most scary voice.  
  
"Uh-huh. What did you and Thranduil do this time?"  
  
"Not much."  
  
"Uh-huh"  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas helped." That did it. Celebrian picked of one of Elrond's robes and started hitting him with it.  
  
"How dare you two corrupt them? They would have been good elflings if you and Thranduil hadn't set such a bad example for  
  
them. And to think that you and him are a Lord and King. *sigh *faint"  
  
In another room, Thranduil was having just as much, of not more, trouble than Elrond. As soon as he had explained what  
  
happened, Celebwen had taken up one of Thranduil's best swords and pointed it at him.  
  
"Why? Why? You know that my mother already thinks of you and Elrond as idiots. Why?"  
  
"It was Elrond's idea. All Elrond." Thranduil was close to panicking.  
  
"You expect me to believe that?"  
  
"Um...yeah?"  
  
"*Grrrrrr"  
  
"Um...no?"  
  
"*sigh *faint"  
  
Elrond put Celebrian on a horse and Thranduil put Celebwen on another. With that done, Elrond, Thranduil, Celebrian,  
  
Celebwen, Glorfindel, Erestor, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas, rode off to Imladris.  
  
The next morning:  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"  
  
THE END  
  
*if you want me to write a pre/sequel, tell me in a review 


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